It’s been so difficult because my dads home a the time. But I’ll make it happen.
Into my old habits. I purged forthe first time on a while last night, I’ve forgotten how easy it was. I just feel less happy lately.
I’ve still been thinking about my Ed consistently but my actions don’t show it. I’ve slipped and basicly went back into “normal” eating patterns. I haven’t gained weight but I’m deffinetly at a plateu. But I’ve been triggered. And i can feel everything creeping up on me again. I’m going to the beach Friday after school and all of us fucked up ed girls and boys know what that means.
Someone that I haven’t seen for a while saw me today and she said ” you’ve gotten so skinny..where did the rest of you go”
All I replied with was I’m not.
And I didn’t make it to 108… I’m so dissapointed in myself.
I’ll be 17. I promised myself I’d be at least 108 by then. 5 pounds to go and I’ll lose it by then..
I want to get my nails done and buy a ton of clothes. I’d be content with that really.
Good thing my boyfriend and I do it often.
For new orleans. And I’m so nervous, I’m going to be with family that doesn’t know about my e.d and all we so is go out to eat.
I have a feeling I’m going to to spend more time worrying rather than enjoying myself :l
So I can break this weight.
Hopefully spending the night at my boyfriends house next weekend. And that’s self explanitory.
I need to feel in control again.
