So I can break this weight.
Hopefully spending the night at my boyfriends house next weekend. And that’s self explanitory.
I need to feel in control again.
And the thought makes me so relieved.
Ha, Who says I need food?
I’m kinda jealous about something I know I don’t need to worry about but it’s whatever I guess…
Fuck everyone. Just leave me alone.
Tomorrow is going to concist of work work work work work (10-5:30), not eating not eating not eating not eating, and hopefully seeing my boyfriend.
Honestly that’d be a good day for me.
I feel fine, just physically wiped out and tired. I want to keep going till tomorrow night or Friday. I’ve lost 5 pounds and am now at my lowest weight again and might even reach a new low by tonight.
The only thing I’m afraid of is when I break my fast, when i start eating again, I’m scared of even eating an apple because I don’t want to gain anything.
That’s my only problem with going this long is that I never want to stop. Infact I’m petrified of stopping.
I hate having lecture talks. I hate making people feel awkward. I hate making people mad. I hate making people worried. I hate that they can’t understand. I hate that it can’t be okay with them.
and I’m just sorry I’ve put people through it. But I’m not stopping and i’m not sorry about that.
I’ll post whatever i drink tomorrow.
(Source: marieclaire.com, via fille-de-plumes-deactivated2013)
